It Depends

I live and work where contemplation is valued and encouraged. It's interesting to watch people who come to the Retreat Center either accept, reject or be paralyzed by the prospect of personal contemplation. It's manifested itself in an unusual way this week. Instead of contemplating their own lives, several retreatants have cleverly avoided it by contemplating mine, which has led to interesting questions:

Where do you grocery shop?

Do you believe in God?

Now, when you said Melissa was your girlfriend, what exactly does that mean?

Can I empty the portable toilet myself?

I think the appropriate answer to each of these questions is, "It depends."

It depends on whether I feel like answering.
It depends on whether I think you are someone who needs to know that much about me.
It depends on whether I think you can handle the truth (thanks Jack!).
It depends on how honest I'm being with myself at that particular moment.
It depends on whether I want to mess with your mind.
It just depends.

So...here are some answers and you can decide which it depends statement applies:

Where do you grocery shop?

If I'm being self-indulgent - Krogers in Nashville
otherwise..Food Lion or H.G. Hill in Ashland City

Do I believe in God?

I believe in a Divine presence in all living things. I don't call it "God", but if that makes you more comfortable to call it "God"...knock yourself out.

Now when you said Melissa was your girlfiend, what exactly does that mean?

If Melissa's name was Michael and I said he was my boyfriend, you wouldn't be asking me that question.

Can I empty the portable toilet myself?

Absolutely not...please don't deprive me the joy of emptying your waste.

ANY MORE QUESTIONS?