That last two months have been all about LaLaKnee, the adventure in knee replacement surgery. Do you want to know the most common question I'm asked?
Here it is...
"You just had one replaced?"
For the record...
Yes, I only had one knee replaced. The surgery is debilitating and I can't imagine having them both done at the same time. I know it's common practice these days, but let me tell you something folks...it HURTS, recovery is a LONG and HARD process and physical therapy is a BITCH.
It also takes a village to recuperate. My mom stayed with me for 6 weeks, the Lovely Linda held vigil at the bedside until I could go home and wonderful friends organized and brought delicious meals every day. Two households took in Miss Mocha and cared for her like she was their own little brown dog child. Folks came and laid healing hands on me when my body was doing everything it could to reject LaLaKnee. Volunteers split up my duties at the Retreat Center until I was strong enough to come home and continued to come when I realized I wasn't strong enough to do it all.
These gestures of kindness and love make my heart swell and my eyes water. That's the story I want to tell.
Sunday, November 8
Saturday, October 10
Morning Has Broken
I love sitting in my big comfy chair, watching the day evolve from the dusky blur of pre-dawn to the first rays of golden sunlight setting the multi-colored leaves afire. With the window slightly open, a crisp breeze wakes me from the toes up and makes the first cup of coffee that much more delicious.
Fall is my time of year. I was born on the Autumnal Equinox and have always felt the tide of seasonal change in my bones.
It's good to be home. It's good to be reunited with the Brown One. It's good to see my stuff and it's good to be on this land that sings Autumn (and every other season for that matter).
I won't bore you with all the pre/post surgery details. Here's a thumbnail sketch: surgery was very successful. The new knee is securely in place and has been named...La La Knee. I've had to relearn how to use all the muscles in my left leg. Physical therapy is as tough as everyone said it would be. It's been going well until this week, when we hit a plateau. We made a little progress yesterday, so hopefully, this will continue. My mom has been with me since before surgery and it's been great to have her here. We've not had this kind of time together since I was a teenager. It's been interesting to get to know her where she is in her life now. She's going back to Texas in a week or so. I think we're both ready.
The best medicine has been all the friends who've called, written, emailed and showed up with meals every day. It's good to be a part of a caring, compassionate and loving community. I could not have healed as quickly as I have without their love and support. How to say thank you to these folks in a way that denotes the magnitude of love and gratitude I feel in my heart eludes me.
The Lovely Linda has had her hands full during this time. Suffice it to say, she'd have been a willing subject for cloning. Sadly, her beloved Irish Terrier Kenzie became ill shortly before I had surgery and the vets were never able to determine the cause. After days and weeks of trying everything humanly possible, Linda had to make the heart-wrenching decision to let her go. That I couldn't be with her and Kenzie in her last days lingers as a pain in my heart.
So, morning has broken for us all. Each day a chance to get a little stronger, be a little more joyful, hold everyone with a little more appreciation.
Fall is my time of year. I was born on the Autumnal Equinox and have always felt the tide of seasonal change in my bones.
It's good to be home. It's good to be reunited with the Brown One. It's good to see my stuff and it's good to be on this land that sings Autumn (and every other season for that matter).
I won't bore you with all the pre/post surgery details. Here's a thumbnail sketch: surgery was very successful. The new knee is securely in place and has been named...La La Knee. I've had to relearn how to use all the muscles in my left leg. Physical therapy is as tough as everyone said it would be. It's been going well until this week, when we hit a plateau. We made a little progress yesterday, so hopefully, this will continue. My mom has been with me since before surgery and it's been great to have her here. We've not had this kind of time together since I was a teenager. It's been interesting to get to know her where she is in her life now. She's going back to Texas in a week or so. I think we're both ready.
The best medicine has been all the friends who've called, written, emailed and showed up with meals every day. It's good to be a part of a caring, compassionate and loving community. I could not have healed as quickly as I have without their love and support. How to say thank you to these folks in a way that denotes the magnitude of love and gratitude I feel in my heart eludes me.
The Lovely Linda has had her hands full during this time. Suffice it to say, she'd have been a willing subject for cloning. Sadly, her beloved Irish Terrier Kenzie became ill shortly before I had surgery and the vets were never able to determine the cause. After days and weeks of trying everything humanly possible, Linda had to make the heart-wrenching decision to let her go. That I couldn't be with her and Kenzie in her last days lingers as a pain in my heart.
So, morning has broken for us all. Each day a chance to get a little stronger, be a little more joyful, hold everyone with a little more appreciation.
Thursday, September 3
Scraps of Wisdom.16
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.
Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Sunday, August 30
No Time Like the Present
It finally happened, a date has been set for knee replacement surgery. Show time is September 10th at high noon. There's so much to do between now and then that the Blogosphere, Facebook Nation and Twitter World are going to have to live without me for a while.
Speaking of living without me, it occurred to me there's the possibility (slim at best) that I might not wake up from surgery. Like I don't have enough to think about, now I have these passing thoughts about Mocha, the people I love, my stuff and do I need to make amends with anyone before September 10th?
My mom is coming for a month to help take care of me. Should be interesting. I'm looking forward to our time together. Since I've moved to Tennessee, we're not only separated by miles, but by something I can't quite put my finger on. Am hoping we'll get to reconnect in a meaningful way and not just talk about the weather and swap recipes...you know what I mean? Oh that's it, we relate on a superficial level now and I'd like to go deeper. Will stick a pin in that thought so it doesn't float away.
Between now and September 10th, I'll be a blur. After September 10th, I'll be medicated, doing physical therapy and getting my mobility back.
Until next time...take good care and enjoy the gift of today.
Speaking of living without me, it occurred to me there's the possibility (slim at best) that I might not wake up from surgery. Like I don't have enough to think about, now I have these passing thoughts about Mocha, the people I love, my stuff and do I need to make amends with anyone before September 10th?
My mom is coming for a month to help take care of me. Should be interesting. I'm looking forward to our time together. Since I've moved to Tennessee, we're not only separated by miles, but by something I can't quite put my finger on. Am hoping we'll get to reconnect in a meaningful way and not just talk about the weather and swap recipes...you know what I mean? Oh that's it, we relate on a superficial level now and I'd like to go deeper. Will stick a pin in that thought so it doesn't float away.
Between now and September 10th, I'll be a blur. After September 10th, I'll be medicated, doing physical therapy and getting my mobility back.
Until next time...take good care and enjoy the gift of today.
Tuesday, August 11
The Great Plane
each morning
i raise the window,
a small part of the day
slides in
with its bent rays of light
or not
its riot of color
or not
its stretching, yawning sounds
or not
each morning
i raise the window
to gently rock my life awake
some days are clear,
on this morning
dew clings to the glass
the tell-tale trail of a snail
who’s crossed the great pane
in the night
loops left to right
or is it right to left?
each morning
i raise the window,
sometimes just a crack
other times fully open
a window a mind
a heart a soul
it’s what slides in
or not
it’s what bypasses reasoning
or not
that sends us looping
across the great plane
left to right
or right to left
i raise the window,
a small part of the day
slides in
with its bent rays of light
or not
its riot of color
or not
its stretching, yawning sounds
or not
each morning
i raise the window
to gently rock my life awake
some days are clear,
on this morning
dew clings to the glass
the tell-tale trail of a snail
who’s crossed the great pane
in the night
loops left to right
or is it right to left?
each morning
i raise the window,
sometimes just a crack
other times fully open
a window a mind
a heart a soul
it’s what slides in
or not
it’s what bypasses reasoning
or not
that sends us looping
across the great plane
left to right
or right to left
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