Sunday, October 30
This weekend, I house sat for good friends who are on an Olivia Cruise. Lucky them....Martina Navratilova, the Indigo Girls and Cheryl Swoops are but a few on the sapho manifest. Their house is lovely and offers me complete respite from the demands of the Retreat Center. Yesterday morning, Mocha and I explored the Ridge behind their house. It was physically challenging and left me weary. So, after a warm shower, I curled up on the sofa and turned on the television. They have cable and much to my delight, there was a Julia Roberts movie marathon starting with Mystic Pizza and ending with Erin Brochovich.
I've spent a day and half watching TV... that's 36 hours. My intention this weekend was to take advantage of the peace and quiet and write. Instead, I sat mindlessly in front of the television and only got up to attend to my and Mocha's most primitive needs.
Today, my brain is numb...like I have a hangover. I'm pissed at myself for losing all that time and for what? I could have used it for much more productive activities, but I couldn't seem to muster the will to turn off the TV. Luckily, with the end to Daylight Savings Time, I earned an extra hour...I have no intention of wasting it in front of the television.
p.s. I went to turn off the TV and Dogma was on...so much for self will.
Friday, October 28
This may seem petty and/or mundane to some of you, but it was, for me, an experience filled with wonder, awe and gratitude. Life is opening up for me...one fire at a time.
Tuesday, October 25
The wildlife have altered their behavior in preparation for winter. Last week, mice started moving into the Retreat House. I escorted 2 of them out the front door and unfortunately, the third died in the wall in the back of my clothes closet....yuck. The deer are moving down from the high ridge to the lower trail. Last Friday, I was sitting with a friend looking out at the lake and taking in the fall foliage when out of nowhere, a beautiful doe came to the edge of the water, jumped in, swam around, jumped out and disappeared into the woods. It lasted all of 30 seconds, but neither one of us dared take a breath...it was a gift. Yesterday, a retreatant recounted the joy and wonder of sitting and watching two otters tumble, spin and play around the perimeter of the lake.
It may be cold outside, but I'm not going to miss a moment of the splendor of fall. So I'll put on layers, wear a hat and forge off into the wilderness to overstimulate my senses with this oh-so- intentional march toward winter. As long as there is a cup of tea and a warm fire waiting for me at the Retreat House, I can live with shivering.
Sunday, October 23
Friday, October 21
Oh sweet release
that made me giggle, then laugh so deep it made me snort
There was a moment today when longing melted away
Oh sweet joy
to watch it drip from fingertips and toes and not from my eyes
There was a moment today when my mind spoke the truth
and my heart received it
Oh sweet synchronicity
that has eluded me for so long
There was a moment today when my body was untethered
Oh sweet liberation
to feel my lungs fill to the bottom, limbs moving under my command and not anothers
There was a moment today when wholeness was no longer a prayer
Oh sweet awakening
of the far-flung parts of me that have been searching for home
There was a moment today that shouted, "YOU ARE READY"
There was a moment today that whispered, "now"
Thursday, October 20
Where do you grocery shop?
Do you believe in God?
Now, when you said Melissa was your girlfriend, what exactly does that mean?
Can I empty the portable toilet myself?
I think the appropriate answer to each of these questions is, "It depends."
It depends on whether I feel like answering.
It depends on whether I think you are someone who needs to know that much about me.
It depends on whether I think you can handle the truth (thanks Jack!).
It depends on how honest I'm being with myself at that particular moment.
It depends on whether I want to mess with your mind.
It just depends.
So...here are some answers and you can decide which it depends statement applies:
Where do you grocery shop?
If I'm being self-indulgent - Krogers in Nashville
otherwise..Food Lion or H.G. Hill in Ashland City
Do I believe in God?
I believe in a Divine presence in all living things. I don't call it "God", but if that makes you more comfortable to call it "God"...knock yourself out.
Now when you said Melissa was your girlfiend, what exactly does that mean?
If Melissa's name was Michael and I said he was my boyfriend, you wouldn't be asking me that question.
Can I empty the portable toilet myself?
Absolutely not...please don't deprive me the joy of emptying your waste.
ANY MORE QUESTIONS?
Wednesday, October 19
My next favorite expression overhead at the Mom and Pop convenience store that sells live bait, as well as Cheetos and beer... (said in the sweetest Southern girl voice with a big smile) "Now shug you have yourself a Teeter's kinda' day." I'll have to get back with you on that one...been pondering exactly what that means all day.
Tuesday, October 18
I know...it's cliche, but as caretaker of 120 acres, a tractor, a golf cart, a house with 4 doors, two cottages and a stable, I can't be lugging all these keys around in my purse now can I?
Sunday, October 16
Mocha likes to catch flies...she's good at it...I'm thinking of changing her name to Renfield.
Karo Syrup is the magic ingredient for making the biggest, longest lasting bubbles for your bubble wand.
St. John of the Cross was one rocking dude for his time.
Can one achieve grace by laying on a blanket in the sun or is that just being lazy?
A male cardinal will share a nest and shelter with a female cardinal, but won't let her onto the birdfeeder at the same time...
I think I saw what was equivalent to the South Pole on the Moon last night. Does the moon have a south pole?
There's a reason so many cartoon characters are modeled after chipmunks...they are hilarious in real life!
That's enough for now...just had to get these things out of my head.
Saturday, October 15
Two thoughts occur to me as this sinks in...have we truly become such an anxiety-stricken society that in order to be coaxed to go to the dentist, it has to be wrapped in spa clothing or is it multi-tasking at its finest?
You be the judge. Here' a link to their website. Is it me or does the dentist look like he's had just a little too much laughing gas? http://www.dentalbliss.com
Friday, October 14
Thursday, October 13
Fall is noisy or maybe that's just the sound of my teeth chattering.
Saturday, October 8
A kind soul who read my blog and actually works for HP (yes, it's a tiny world) tried to help by escalating my issue up the corporate chain of concern. I was encouraged...someone on the inside pulling for me...an ally...someone with the pass key that would magically open the door to customer satisfaction.
Well, after some rather tedious and off-putting exchanges with the "Executive Customer Service" representative at HP, they've told me my only option is to buy a new camera. I don't want to buy a new camera...I like, no love, my HP camera. It takes really great pictures, it's easy to use and has killer features. Why can't they just fix it? You know what they told me? The don't fix cameras at HP. They actually design, market and sell a product with no intention of supporting it. THAT'S JUST WRONG and as a consumer, I cannot purchase products from a company that doesn't support its product or its customers.
So, this being my blog with the potential to reach anyone on the planet, here's a sample of what my camera is doing (notice the blue vertical and horizontal lines). If you have had a similar problem or know how to fix it...I'd sure appreciate you letting me know.
Thursday, October 6
2. How I got to be 46 years old and don't know how to grill a piece of meat using charcoal in a big-ass bbq pit.
3. Where the joy filled woman child went and if she is ever coming back.
4. Why sheets have to be folded just so or they sprounge out of the closet.
5. How to fix a door knob that will no longer turn...this is especially vexing when you have just enjoyed a hot shower, gone to open the door to your bedroom and realized the doorknob won't turn...which leads to other things I don't know...
5.a. Just how much is the repairman going to enjoy making a house call with me in my bathrobe?
5.b. How long can Mocha hold her water on the other side of the door?
5.c Would it help if I removed the framing around the door?
5.d. On this side of the door is food, water, bathroom, TV and the outdoors...on the other side is my dog, bed, computer, clothes, photos, jewlery, journals, etc... if I had to make a choice, which side would I live on?
I don't know the answers to 1 - 5c which is exactly why it's "things I don't know", but 5d is a no brainer, I go for what's behind the door. Mocha and I can always crawl through the window to freedom.
Wednesday, October 5
Then it happened, I admit it....I had a nellie attack...a serious case of the willies. I squealed like a little girl and ran for the door. Luckily, I gained my composure long enough to get curious...just how long was this sucker? So I took a stick and gingerly extracted it from the grass and stretched it out on one of the deck benches. The head was all scrunched up like a used condom, so I didn't get the full effect, but I'm guessing it was about 3 feet long.
It must be shedding season in Middle Tennessee because my next door neighbor had recounted the previous day a story about finding the same thing in her yard. For a moment, I thought she had sneaked over in the middle of the night and put it by the front door as a practical joke, but no...there are now two big ass snakes hanging out in close proximity wearing the latest fall fashion.
Sunday, October 2
It was a particularly thirsty day for me last week, so on one of my trips into town for supplies (Ashland City), I pulled into the local Sonic for a large diet cherry limeade (for those of you that don't know, I've kicked the diet coke habit since coming here). My mouth was watering as I pushed the button and placed my order. The young female voice chirped my order back to me and said, "that'll be 79 cents." I thought that was rather curious since I ordered a medium that costs $1.49. She came bouncing out with my drink and again said, "hi...oh what a cute dog...that'll be 79 cents." I asked her if there was a special on diet cherry limeades and she said, "No, it's happy hour every day from 2 to 4 on drinks." This is good to know...I'm on a strict budget...and I get thirsty a lot.
Also interesting...Ashland City is a very conservative, religious right kind of a town. Every time there's a referendum placed before the citizens of Cheatham County to allow packaged liquor, it gets voted down. It's not a totally dry county...you can buy beer and wine in the grocery store and you can order a beer at a restaurant, but no mixed drinks. All this being said, I found it interesting that in a semi-dry county, the local Sonic would have happy hour.