Thursday, July 10

Meeting Myself Coming and Going

A friend is grieving. Her grief is being exacerbated by the behavior of the deceased's adult children. But this post is not about her, you see I ran smack into myself, listening to her share accounts of their actions. She doesn't understand why, less than 24 hours after their father's death, they've had a dumpster delivered to his house for a literal and metaphorical purging.

My father and I have been estranged for more than 20 years. I recently saw him at a family wedding and once again appreciated the decision I'd made. I wonder how I will react when he dies, what relationships (healthy or otherwise) he's formed over the last two decades and how my reaction may impact those who are closest to him. Will reconciliation come? Do I even want reconciliation?

I think about my step-father, who died a year and a half ago. My mother was his third wife. He had children from his first marriage, but shared very little about them. From what I was able to learn, his children were estranged from him by their choice. He was such a wonderful father figure to me, I can't imagine what could have happened to create that void, but it existed. I sit, wondering.

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