I just talked to my Mom...she is so sad. After being home for 3 days, Bill's lungs filled with fluid and at 4:45 am Sunday morning they went back to the hospital. Lasix isn't helping any more and he's very tired and weak. The doctors are going to start a different medication to try and dry up his lungs and also introduce a medication to strengthen his heart.
The heartbreak in her voice jumped from the phone to my bone marrow.
I need to be there so Bill can come home to die. I need to be there so Mom doesn't have to care for him alone. I need to be there so they can spend this time in a meaningful way...not in a hospital room. I need to be there for me because this is an important part of who I am...a caregiver.
For more than 20 years, I've been taking care of other people's dying sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters. I should be able to do this for my own family.