I've always shied away from horizontal stripes. Being all of 5 foot tall and round in shape, it's not the best look on me. "They" say vertical stripes are good...will create the illusion that I'm less short and less round. Since being here, I've discovered something...I've been wearing vertical stripes on the outside and the inside. Years and years of pushing things down the center of my body has created a mine shaft...dark, dank and damp.
So, I strapped on my hardhat...the kind with the light in front, grabbed a bucket and repelled down the slippery sides of that mine shaft. When my feet hit the bottom, they sunk into muck and goo that had been there for at least 40 years. I did the only thing I knew to do...shine my light on it and fill that bucket with all the fear, humiliation, abuse, disappointment and conflict that would fit. I've spent the last few weeks hauling up buckets and buckets of it. At first I dumped it out and dug around for artifacts that would explain why I had given it space inside me...but I soon realized the only thing to do was dump it in a running stream and let it be swept away.
Today I choose to no longer live vertically...I don't care how I look in horizontal stripes.
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4 comments:
LOVE the imagery! I mean the way you wrote this . . not the "stuff" itself . . . I'm actualy sorry you had to go through that . . . but you've totally captured what it feels like.
Thanks KC...it was hard to go through and even harder to write about.
This was great entry and an important experience to go through and am proud of you that you can share some. I LOVE BEING YOUR NEIGHBOR!
Ditto for me neighbor!
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