Gloria Steinem Where Are You?

There's a thread of commonality connecting the retreatants who have come to Penuel Ridge over the past few weeks. They are all women in distress...one on the cusp of ending a 20 year marriage, another in flight mode after receiving a cancer diagnosis and an overwhelmed stay-at-home mom with a young child.

This is not uncharted territory for any of us these days, with the divorce rate over 50%, disease so prevalent in our society and the constant tug of war between career, family, relationships and community, we are all on a tight rope expecting the balance to shift at any moment.

Sitting with these women, listening to them talk about their struggles, I'm often compelled to offer solutions, but I don't. My role is that of active listener...sometimes with sympathetic and at other times, empathetic ears. This is a challenge for me, especially when I hear them say things that send up red flags in me, like:

"I found out about your retreat center and I need a place to run to, but my husband won't let me. He sees my need to retreat as a rejection of him and our family. I just need to get away from all of the screaming."

"I need some time away from my small child to get closer to God, but my husband won't watch our son."

"I have a very real reason to be afraid [of my husband]."

It's hard for me to process women being in this position in the 21st century. As a benefactor of the Womens' Movement, I cannot fathom allowing anyone to stand between me and what I need to be a whole person. Is the pendulum swinging back to the patriarchal structure of the 50's or is it geography? I don't know.