The Phlegmish Poet

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy have I been sick. So sick I wanted my mommy. My body produced more phlegm than I thought humanly possible. My trip home was delayed for 2 days until I had the strength to drive from Tennessee to Texas.

The first leg of the trip was from The Ridge to my parents house in deep East Texas. How deep you ask? So deep when you walk down to the dock, step in the boat, navigate out the cove and around the corner you are in Louisiana. So, last Tuesday morning I took all my medicine, pointed the car in a general Southwest direction and 2 rest stops and 12 hours later, I pulled up to their door. It was not as bad as I thought it was going to be, although the last 30 minutes lacked any degree of charm or enjoyment. The truckers kept me entertained and I played russian roulette with my CD collection. Never played? Well..it has to be dark outside, you open your CD case and randomly pull out a CD without looking at it and pop it into the CD player, crank up the volume and sing at the top of your lungs. Most importantly, you must listen to the entire CD...no early ejection. My favorite surprise was Colour Me Badd, "I want to sex you up!" I didn't realize I owned the CD, much less listened to it in the past decade.

The folks are doing OK. I was only there for a day and half, but we managed to visit, solve the worlds problems and play several hands of kings on the corners before I had to leave on the next leg of my journey. I was truly proud of my Mom. She honored my request for no sweets. I honestly didn't think she was capable of preparing for a visit without baking:

• cake
• pie - fried and/or baked
• cookies
• banana bread
• all of the above

Bless her heart...she did it!

My folks are aging. Bill (the cutey in the red sweater) is 80 and Mom (the cutey with the red hair) will be 73 in April. I had something very important I wanted to share with her, but she wanted to talk about her funeral arrangements, so my news was trumped. I'm glad we had the talk, even though I sat there crying and couldn't say a word. It's good to know what hymn they want sung and what NOT to serve at the covered dish supper. She wants a "green" burial...she didnt know that's what it was called, but she wants to be put in the ground in a sheet and tree planted on top of her. I support her, but I'm afraid the small church cemetery out in the Piney Woods is not going to cotton to me dropping my Mom into a hole without the usual trappings, pomp and circumstance. We shall see...the women in my family usually get their way when it's all said and done.

So, with the first leg of the journey complete, I rose with exuberance to begin the second leg...Houston. What had hitherto been a 3 1/2 hour drive I normally bemoaned seemed now like a walk in the park on a sunny day. And the day was sunny and bright, perfect for driving through the Sabine National Forest.

...more tales from the road to follow