The foremost topic of conversation with anyone these days is how sick they are of winter and where the hell is Spring? If red buds, Japanese magnolias, dogwoods and forsythias don't bloom soon, I swear people are going to start rubbing gravel in their hair and rending their garments.
Yes, we are all weary of enduring the gray, frigid, snowy, wet, foggy days that have dominated the winter landscape in Middle Tennessee.
After a morning stroll around the retreat center, I have good news. The lilac bushes are budding out, as is the flowering quince. Sedum, iris, day lilies, chives and yes, wild onions are sending up green shoots of new life through brown grass and decaying leaves. The goldfinches are dusting off their dull feathers.
Spring truly is coming. It may take longer than we'd like, but it will come. I wonder, once it's arrived, will those who've bemoaned its absence partake of its glory? Will they look up from their Iphone or Blackberry long enough to notice? Maybe between errands and appointments they'll stop long enough to take a deep breath of warm, loamy Spring air?
Is all the complaining more about a society who wants what it wants NOW and can no longer savor the tingly joy of anticipation; the gift of waiting for seasons to unfold?
As for me, I'm going to bundle up, walk into the World and let my eyes and ears find Spring.
Care to join me?
Wednesday, March 17
Monday, March 8
Untethered in the World
What do I want to do with my time?
to walk untethered in the world to wander without a compass only to find my way home at the end of the day to carry only that which feeds me wholly to embrace silence until the language of the land becomes my own to pause when the bones say rest under the outstretched arms of a forest green to honor the hoof prints of the doe with words rippling down a blank page
and
to say, “Here, take these words and know the freedom of honoring the yearning of your soul.”
Wednesday, March 3
This Native Land
Do strains of music stop at the border's edge?
What of the wind
of the rain
of the sun
and its healing rays
shining down
on the Mother,
this native land?
A nomad's foot pauses
on the cartographer' s line
between nations.
Does the soil
feel foreign to the heel
but home to the toe,
or does he walk on,
one horizon
one world outstretched?
These imaginary borders
we bump into
on our way to somewhere else
cut us off from each other,
the fractured allegiance
to flags of different colors.
There is peace,
there is plenty,
there is the single strand
our tribal nature weaves,
unravels,
reweaves again
to the rhythm
of the native drums
the calling out
the calling home
to brothers and sisters
of the Mother,
this native land.
What of the wind
of the rain
of the sun
and its healing rays
shining down
on the Mother,
this native land?
A nomad's foot pauses
on the cartographer' s line
between nations.
Does the soil
feel foreign to the heel
but home to the toe,
or does he walk on,
one horizon
one world outstretched?
These imaginary borders
we bump into
on our way to somewhere else
cut us off from each other,
the fractured allegiance
to flags of different colors.
There is peace,
there is plenty,
there is the single strand
our tribal nature weaves,
unravels,
reweaves again
to the rhythm
of the native drums
the calling out
the calling home
to brothers and sisters
of the Mother,
this native land.
Monday, February 15
Cooking for One
I finally saw Julia & Julia, so how appropriate to get a call from a reporter writing an article about cooking for one.
Here's the article.
Bon Appetit!
Here's the article.
Bon Appetit!
Dial-Up Dilemma
It's good to get ink...behold, a recent article in the newspaper about the dial-up dilemma.
Monday, February 8
Newton's Third Law
Laughter floats in
from one of the rooms
at my back
to find me sitting alone
in my high chair
at the kitchen table
Watermelon red with chrome trim
shiny enough to reflect
my pink chubby toes
I don't mind being alone
with disembodied toes
to keep me company
But what do toddlers know
of the push-pull theory?
Still the laughter
still alone
bored with "this little piggy"
I peer over my shoulder
lean back as far as I can
to catch a glimpse of laughing faces
around the door frame,
just need a push
of pink chubby toes against chrome
and I careen backwards,
a dizzying crash to the floor
my soft skull trapped
a father's rough, tan hands
looking for a way in
his eyes, blue with a dark ring
fixed on his breathless child
too shocked to scream
or laugh
from one of the rooms
at my back
to find me sitting alone
in my high chair
at the kitchen table
Watermelon red with chrome trim
shiny enough to reflect
my pink chubby toes
I don't mind being alone
with disembodied toes
to keep me company
But what do toddlers know
of the push-pull theory?
Still the laughter
still alone
bored with "this little piggy"
I peer over my shoulder
lean back as far as I can
to catch a glimpse of laughing faces
around the door frame,
just need a push
of pink chubby toes against chrome
and I careen backwards,
a dizzying crash to the floor
my soft skull trapped
a father's rough, tan hands
looking for a way in
his eyes, blue with a dark ring
fixed on his breathless child
too shocked to scream
or laugh
Friday, February 5
Comcast Update
Despite my silence in the Blogosphere about my tango with Comcast, much has been happening. For the most part, I've been passed up and down the food chain several times. Had some encouraging conversations with folks on their payroll who truly sympathize with the situation and conversly, had some very infuriating conversations with folks on their payroll who spoke to me with condescension and righteous indignation. Always a winning combination in my book.
So where are we, you ask? In tandem with the Office of Economic Development, a series of articles will appear in several publications laying out our case for service. Additionally, I will submit a letter to the editor with copies going to persons at the top of the food chain at Comcast who could effect change.
All studies I've read about bringing access to broad band services in rural areas suggests that communities work in tandem with internet providers to pay for the cost of the upgrades. When I asked one of the Comcast folks how much it would cost to bring broad band to our area, he snottily responded, "that's proprietary information and I will not share it with you." I wonder if the true cost to bring broad band service to my community is as much as the Luxury Suite belonging to Comcast at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia? Hmmm...I don't know, but aren't reading financial statements and tax returns fascinating?
More soon.
So where are we, you ask? In tandem with the Office of Economic Development, a series of articles will appear in several publications laying out our case for service. Additionally, I will submit a letter to the editor with copies going to persons at the top of the food chain at Comcast who could effect change.
All studies I've read about bringing access to broad band services in rural areas suggests that communities work in tandem with internet providers to pay for the cost of the upgrades. When I asked one of the Comcast folks how much it would cost to bring broad band to our area, he snottily responded, "that's proprietary information and I will not share it with you." I wonder if the true cost to bring broad band service to my community is as much as the Luxury Suite belonging to Comcast at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia? Hmmm...I don't know, but aren't reading financial statements and tax returns fascinating?
More soon.
Monday, January 11
Now You're Just Pissing Me Off - Part V
My goodness but a flurry of phone calls came pouring in on Friday afternoon from all manner of folk representing Comcast.
Here's the problem though...my request was de-escalated to the local market, not escalated to decision/change makers up the corporate ladder who have the vision and authority to say "yes."
One of my favorite quotes from a local representative for Ashland City was, "not only can't we do the build out in your area, but we WON'T."
Nice.
We are nowhere near done.
Here's the problem though...my request was de-escalated to the local market, not escalated to decision/change makers up the corporate ladder who have the vision and authority to say "yes."
One of my favorite quotes from a local representative for Ashland City was, "not only can't we do the build out in your area, but we WON'T."
Nice.
We are nowhere near done.
Friday, January 8
Now You're Just Pissing Me Off - Part IV
Some of you may have noticed a comment left two days ago by someone from Comcast offering to help. My first reaction was elation, my second reaction was suspicion. How did I know this person was a representative from Comcast and what made him think I would divulge my address to someone on the internet? It also gave me the willies to think that a Corporate Giant is trolling the internet daily for a mention of their name. That's both paranoid and egotistical at the same time. I wonder if the money they spend on this effort couldn't be better spent building out a network that reached everyone across America? Just a thought.
Anyway, I sent him an email thanking him for his comment and requested a phone number at which he could be reached during business hours. He responded in kind and I have now left two phone messages, neither of which have been returned.
Although the idea of climbing the City water tower to voice my dismay is appealing, I'm not interested in breaking laws or launching a smear campaign. What I want is access to high-speed internet service. So...documenting my efforts toward that goal on this blog is the first step. I have some ideas on what comes next.
In the meantime, I'm still getting solicitation materials from Comcast, AT&T and now Charter who all want to sell me bundled business services, which include high-speed internet. Services which NONE of these providers offer in my area. It's disrespectful to wave the metaphorical carrot in front of someone's face only to snatch it away.
I'm not certain how this is going to wash out, but what I do know is that the power of the purse coupled with the power of the pen are mighty. Mighty enough to get the attention of a Cororate Giant and more importantly, some action.
Anyway, I sent him an email thanking him for his comment and requested a phone number at which he could be reached during business hours. He responded in kind and I have now left two phone messages, neither of which have been returned.
Although the idea of climbing the City water tower to voice my dismay is appealing, I'm not interested in breaking laws or launching a smear campaign. What I want is access to high-speed internet service. So...documenting my efforts toward that goal on this blog is the first step. I have some ideas on what comes next.
In the meantime, I'm still getting solicitation materials from Comcast, AT&T and now Charter who all want to sell me bundled business services, which include high-speed internet. Services which NONE of these providers offer in my area. It's disrespectful to wave the metaphorical carrot in front of someone's face only to snatch it away.
I'm not certain how this is going to wash out, but what I do know is that the power of the purse coupled with the power of the pen are mighty. Mighty enough to get the attention of a Cororate Giant and more importantly, some action.
Thursday, January 7
Now You're Just Pissing Me Off - Part III
You're probably wondering how I made the mental leap from my "Dear Jane" email from Comcast to contacting the Executive Director of the Economic Development Office of Cheatham County. In short, the brain is a wonderful tool.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered receiving a survey several months prior from the Office of Economic Development about the countywide need for high-speed internet access. I went to their website and lo and behold, the survey was still on their home page, so I clicked on it, expressing our critical need for service. Since the survey was several months old, I put a call into the Executive Director to see if there were any preliminary results and/or progress with local service providers. My call went to voice mail, so I sent a well-worded and respectful email and waited for a response.
I wasn't expecting a rapid response since escalating the issue to the level of County Government, so waited patiently for a reply. Let me tell you something, living in a rural county does have its advantages. Within a few days, I had a response and not from an assistant to the Executive Director or an Intern but from the Executive Director himself. With a glimmer of hope, I opened the email, which began:
Want a little irony in the middle of this saga? Studies have revealed it's the rural communities who benefit the most from high-speed internet access. President Obama knows this and has included money in the economic stimulus package to bring the much-needed technology to those very communities. Do you think someone at Comcast knows this? That there's money to pay for the huge build out costs they claim is too exorbitant to justify bringing high-speed internet access to our area? Hello, is anybody listening?
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered receiving a survey several months prior from the Office of Economic Development about the countywide need for high-speed internet access. I went to their website and lo and behold, the survey was still on their home page, so I clicked on it, expressing our critical need for service. Since the survey was several months old, I put a call into the Executive Director to see if there were any preliminary results and/or progress with local service providers. My call went to voice mail, so I sent a well-worded and respectful email and waited for a response.
I wasn't expecting a rapid response since escalating the issue to the level of County Government, so waited patiently for a reply. Let me tell you something, living in a rural county does have its advantages. Within a few days, I had a response and not from an assistant to the Executive Director or an Intern but from the Executive Director himself. With a glimmer of hope, I opened the email, which began:
I wish I had some good news to present to you.
My heart sank. He went on to describe how difficult it was to get any of the major providers to be forthcoming with information and/or a timeline for development in our area. Much of what he cited I had heard from Mr. Sales Person; the excuses/justifications for lack of service. Misery may love company but I didn't find a lot of comfort in knowing that he too had been working with the local service providers to no avail and shared my dismay. He closed his email with a chilling statement:
We have had more than one business that did not locate in the county because of the lack of [broad band] services.
I imagine at this point, most folks would say to themselves, "if the County's been working on this issue and can't get anywhere, then surely I can't get anywhere." Except, I'm not most folks when it comes to issues I perceive as an injustice. And this one smacks of injustice when a select few (those like me in the outlying areas of the county) cannot access the same quality of life services as our neighbors. I know, you're thinking "what does high-speed internet access have to do with quality of life?", but think about all the ways you use the internet. I and my neighbors can't take on-line classes to further our education, we can't be competitive in the job market as we have no exposure to rapidly changing/improving technology, etc... In essence, we are stuck in a time warp during a time when the job market is shrinking while the number of unemployed is rising.
Want a little irony in the middle of this saga? Studies have revealed it's the rural communities who benefit the most from high-speed internet access. President Obama knows this and has included money in the economic stimulus package to bring the much-needed technology to those very communities. Do you think someone at Comcast knows this? That there's money to pay for the huge build out costs they claim is too exorbitant to justify bringing high-speed internet access to our area? Hello, is anybody listening?
Armed with this information, I send an email to Mr. Sales Person relaying that it's not just one isolated person [me] on a country road asking anymore, but the Office of Economic Development for Cheatham County and could they kindly see through their myopic haze and get to work?
His response:
Basically, this would be a huge build out cost for Comcast and it will not be available in that area for at least 6 months and quite possibly longer because of all the upgrades that we will need to do to offer services in that area. We may consider it a build out in 2010 but nothing has been decided on it at this point. If you want to check back with me in 6 months, I will attempt to get another update for you at that time. I'm sorry for the bad news.
This is the same song and dance I've been getting for the last 4 years from Comcast and to be fair AT&T as well, who is now also courting me for bundled business services.
My reply:
I am a longtime activist and will not go quietly. I imagine Comcast is profitable in Cheatham County from the households to whom you currently provide service. I'll be talking with [the Executive Director of the Office of Economic Development] about how we might exercise our collective consumer muscle in a positive way. It's the rural communities who benefit most from high-speed internet access. It makes good business sense for Comcast to look beyond the bottom line toward improved community relations.
His final shot across the bow:
*I'm typing this verbatim, so fill in the blanks with the appropriate word choices when what's before you isn't quite on target.
I understand and really appreciate that you want Comcast in your area, but there are several factors, not *such monetary, that go along with providing service in any area. We want to make sure we are *proving the right amount of bandwidth to our customers so that we do not run into problems and so we don't have unhappy customers. So there has to be a certain standard that we will have to attain.
One word comes to mind when I read this...horseshit. I imagine this also came off a script somewhere, just like his sales pitch, but forgive me for scaling the City's water tower and painting "Comcast is full of horseshit" in big bold letters so tall you can read them while driving down Hwy 12.
Tomorrow...Installment 4 or "What will her next step be?"
Wednesday, January 6
Now You're Just Pissing Me Off - Part II
Where were we...ah yes, Comcast has been courting me for "Triple Play" service. I begged the sales person not to use that phrase when talking to me, but a script they must follow and follow it he did.
After an initial conversation with Mr. Sales Person it truly appeared that high speed internet access was within my grasp. I dreamed of spending [wasting] hours cruising You Tube, ITunes and adding music/video to my blog. I was giddy!
Assured that service was now available in my area, Mr. Sales Person asked if he could draw up a contract for my approval. I had butterflies in my stomach just like the first time my boyfriend in the 6th grade held my hand! Let's face it folks, I've been here before, only to be rejected. But he seemed so sincere. We'd had light conversations. He laughed at my jokes. He was ready to make a commitment with this contract. Was it really this easy after so long a wait? Still, I wanted to see it in writing so agreed and waited anxiously for the contract to arrive.
While we're waiting for the contract to come in, let me backtrack a little. I had called in the services of a wonderful tech-savvy volunteer at the beginning of my quest for high speed internet access. Being a small non profit where every penny counts, we needed to do some comparison shopping to ensure we were getting the biggest bang for our buck. She did a great job not only assessing our internet needs, but phone/long distance and cable too.
She made a recommendation accompanied by a color-coded matrix of cost vs. service. I was ready to make a decision and sign the contract. As promised, Mr. Sales Person sent it over and I read every word, which not only meant reading the contract, but all the hyperlinks to their website that contain the "fine print" they no longer include in said contract. I'm nothing, if not thorough. Everything seemed to be in order.
My call to Mr. Sales Person was promptly returned during which I posed one final question, "Are you SURE service is available at my location?" His response, "Yes, I'm sure, but if we get out there and find out it isn't, you have 30 days to cancel the contract." My retort, "Why would Comcast go to the expense of sending a crew out to install cabling if it wasn't available?" I believe his reply was a cross between a snort and a guffaw.
Hmmm...giddy me and jaded me are now having a fist fight in my brain. I end the brawl by agreeing to go on line to Comcast's website and do a little recon work. You see when I had been on line earlier to read the "fine print" for the contract, I noticed a handy search tool whereby you can enter your address and determine if you are in their service area. With trembling hands, I typed in the address and waited for the reply. I must have been holding my breath because suddenly my lungs began to burn. As I exhaled and drew in life-giving oxygen, the screen flickered and the following message appeared...
NO SERVICE IS AVAILABLE IN YOUR AREA
7 cold, cruel words. I couldn't dial the phone number to Mr. Sales Person fast enough. Upon hearing the news, he was shocked, aghast with disbelief!!!! I asked him calmly if he would check with the engineering department to confirm whether he or the website search result was correct.
I few days later an email popped up from Mr. Sales Person. After inquiring with the engineering department, he was wrong, the website was correct in that NO SERVICE IS AVAILABLE IN MY AREA. He'd sent an email...couldn't even bother to call. Of course, why would he since I was no longer a potential sale?
The post card, the solicitation calls, the contract, all hollow gestures. I felt as if I'd been jilted by a lover. I was not going to take this lying down. My next call was to the Director of the Office of Economic Development for Cheatham County. You see, Comcast does serve PART of the County, just not ALL of the County.
...at least not yet.
Installment 3 tomorrow
After an initial conversation with Mr. Sales Person it truly appeared that high speed internet access was within my grasp. I dreamed of spending [wasting] hours cruising You Tube, ITunes and adding music/video to my blog. I was giddy!
Assured that service was now available in my area, Mr. Sales Person asked if he could draw up a contract for my approval. I had butterflies in my stomach just like the first time my boyfriend in the 6th grade held my hand! Let's face it folks, I've been here before, only to be rejected. But he seemed so sincere. We'd had light conversations. He laughed at my jokes. He was ready to make a commitment with this contract. Was it really this easy after so long a wait? Still, I wanted to see it in writing so agreed and waited anxiously for the contract to arrive.
While we're waiting for the contract to come in, let me backtrack a little. I had called in the services of a wonderful tech-savvy volunteer at the beginning of my quest for high speed internet access. Being a small non profit where every penny counts, we needed to do some comparison shopping to ensure we were getting the biggest bang for our buck. She did a great job not only assessing our internet needs, but phone/long distance and cable too.
She made a recommendation accompanied by a color-coded matrix of cost vs. service. I was ready to make a decision and sign the contract. As promised, Mr. Sales Person sent it over and I read every word, which not only meant reading the contract, but all the hyperlinks to their website that contain the "fine print" they no longer include in said contract. I'm nothing, if not thorough. Everything seemed to be in order.
My call to Mr. Sales Person was promptly returned during which I posed one final question, "Are you SURE service is available at my location?" His response, "Yes, I'm sure, but if we get out there and find out it isn't, you have 30 days to cancel the contract." My retort, "Why would Comcast go to the expense of sending a crew out to install cabling if it wasn't available?" I believe his reply was a cross between a snort and a guffaw.
Hmmm...giddy me and jaded me are now having a fist fight in my brain. I end the brawl by agreeing to go on line to Comcast's website and do a little recon work. You see when I had been on line earlier to read the "fine print" for the contract, I noticed a handy search tool whereby you can enter your address and determine if you are in their service area. With trembling hands, I typed in the address and waited for the reply. I must have been holding my breath because suddenly my lungs began to burn. As I exhaled and drew in life-giving oxygen, the screen flickered and the following message appeared...
NO SERVICE IS AVAILABLE IN YOUR AREA
7 cold, cruel words. I couldn't dial the phone number to Mr. Sales Person fast enough. Upon hearing the news, he was shocked, aghast with disbelief!!!! I asked him calmly if he would check with the engineering department to confirm whether he or the website search result was correct.
I few days later an email popped up from Mr. Sales Person. After inquiring with the engineering department, he was wrong, the website was correct in that NO SERVICE IS AVAILABLE IN MY AREA. He'd sent an email...couldn't even bother to call. Of course, why would he since I was no longer a potential sale?
The post card, the solicitation calls, the contract, all hollow gestures. I felt as if I'd been jilted by a lover. I was not going to take this lying down. My next call was to the Director of the Office of Economic Development for Cheatham County. You see, Comcast does serve PART of the County, just not ALL of the County.
...at least not yet.
Installment 3 tomorrow
Tuesday, January 5
Now You're Just Pissing Me Off
There are conveniences I knew I'd give up moving from a city in Texas with a population of 2.2 million to a small county seat in Tennessee with a population of 4,000. Living in the middle of a thriving metropolis can be invigorating however as an aspiring writer, I craved a quiet, slower pace in which to create.
One of the conveniences I didn't think I'd give up was access to high-speed internet. Imagine my dismay when I called the local internet provider to begin service and was informed that it wasn't available at my location. A long-time activist, I was not about to take this news lying down, so got on the phone and started inquiring [read as demanding] service. Funny thing, the people on the other end of the phone didn't seem the least bit interested in bringing 20th century technology to our humble village. They cited "low population density" and "development costs they'd never be able to recoup" as justification for thumbing their high-speed noses at us.
That was four years ago.
Not to be deterred, I place a call to the respective internet providers in our area on an annual basis to see if we are yet worthy of high-speed internet access. The usual response is laughter, "not yet", or "not in your lifetime". Without high-speed internet access, I can't download files bigger than 1 mb, access streaming video, update our website, etc..., etc..., etc... My only solution...drive 14 miles to the Cheatham County Library to access their wifi. This is neither convenient nor fun for me.
So imagine my delight when a flyer came in the mail from Comcast several months ago announcing high-speed internet access for our area. The flyer was soon followed by copious phone calls from their sales department. They REALLY wanted our business and not just high-speed internet, but phone, cable TV, etc... All that "bundling" that's so popular now. I gladly took their call and the bait. Sure enough, my dreams were about to come true.
Except...
(This post is getting way too long. Check back tomorrow for Installment #2)
One of the conveniences I didn't think I'd give up was access to high-speed internet. Imagine my dismay when I called the local internet provider to begin service and was informed that it wasn't available at my location. A long-time activist, I was not about to take this news lying down, so got on the phone and started inquiring [read as demanding] service. Funny thing, the people on the other end of the phone didn't seem the least bit interested in bringing 20th century technology to our humble village. They cited "low population density" and "development costs they'd never be able to recoup" as justification for thumbing their high-speed noses at us.
That was four years ago.
Not to be deterred, I place a call to the respective internet providers in our area on an annual basis to see if we are yet worthy of high-speed internet access. The usual response is laughter, "not yet", or "not in your lifetime". Without high-speed internet access, I can't download files bigger than 1 mb, access streaming video, update our website, etc..., etc..., etc... My only solution...drive 14 miles to the Cheatham County Library to access their wifi. This is neither convenient nor fun for me.
So imagine my delight when a flyer came in the mail from Comcast several months ago announcing high-speed internet access for our area. The flyer was soon followed by copious phone calls from their sales department. They REALLY wanted our business and not just high-speed internet, but phone, cable TV, etc... All that "bundling" that's so popular now. I gladly took their call and the bait. Sure enough, my dreams were about to come true.
Except...
(This post is getting way too long. Check back tomorrow for Installment #2)
Monday, January 4
Hunkered Down
Miss Mocha hunkered down with her new toy, the Ant Eater. It has a wonderful squeaker that has a voice like Lauren Bacall. Fun times are ahead in 2010 for the Brown One.
Sunday, January 3
The Horizon
The Texas horizon allows me to breathe deep, my shoulders to relax, my mind to wander. When a trip home and a steady diet of flat land, long-reaching horizons and sapphire sky aren't possible, then the views from atop Skyuka Mountain serve as an hors d'oeuvre.
Winter is best for horizon-seeking on Skyuka Mountain. In other seasons, the dense growth of hardwoods and their foliage create an effective screen, blocking the magnificent views. And they are magnificent, especially atop the lookout rock which gives you a 180 degree view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Newly fallen snow, high gusting winds and bitter cold didn't allow for any rock sitting to drink in the horizon, but here are a few photos, reminders that a clear horizon is always in sight, offering limitless possibilities.
Saturday, December 19
River Road
a river, swift and dark
creeps closer to an asphalt ribbon,
the one with a parallel name
one raindrop, joined by others
a watershed gestating until eventually
it has no choice but to unleash its torrent
scattering remnants of sodden lives
on unfamiliar shores
the fine silt of our ancestors
a button, a bone, a seed
or the shard of a porcelain cup
once carried in the belly of a ship
i want to dangle my fingertips
in the frigid water
absorb the memories as they float by
before dissolving
into a gulf, a sea, an ocean
creeps closer to an asphalt ribbon,
the one with a parallel name
one raindrop, joined by others
a watershed gestating until eventually
it has no choice but to unleash its torrent
scattering remnants of sodden lives
on unfamiliar shores
the fine silt of our ancestors
a button, a bone, a seed
or the shard of a porcelain cup
once carried in the belly of a ship
i want to dangle my fingertips
in the frigid water
absorb the memories as they float by
before dissolving
into a gulf, a sea, an ocean
Wednesday, December 16
Carolina Wrens
Carolina Wrens are known for their antics and big voices, disproportionate to their tiny bodies. I love to watch them year round, but especially during nesting season. A pair of wrens built a nest above the porch light this year and raised their family right before my uplifted eyes.
This year the fledglings didn't want to venture far from the nest so each night, they perched as close to the nest as possible. A most precious sight to see four little wren bodies lined up like soldiers sleeping contently. As they grew, so did their trademark beaks. They could no longer face forward when sleeping, so cleverly turned their heads...little birdies in profile.
As often as possible, I'd invite guests of the Retreat Center to peak at them as they dozed.
Cute is meant to be shared.
This year the fledglings didn't want to venture far from the nest so each night, they perched as close to the nest as possible. A most precious sight to see four little wren bodies lined up like soldiers sleeping contently. As they grew, so did their trademark beaks. They could no longer face forward when sleeping, so cleverly turned their heads...little birdies in profile.
As often as possible, I'd invite guests of the Retreat Center to peak at them as they dozed.
Cute is meant to be shared.
Monday, December 14
A Surprise
On Thanksgiving, neighbor Kathryn and I walked at Radnor Lake. It was a cold, blustery morning with a sky threatening rain, but we were not deterred. Fallen leaves no longer held any autumnal crunch after weeks of rain, but flocks of Canadian geese on the lake lent a picturesque quality to an already bucolic setting.
We chose the Spillway Trail which meanders through the woods, across the spillway and dam, then leads you along the edge of a ravine as you make your way back to the Visitor's Center.
The vivid colors of fall have long passed in Middle Tennessee, so I was delighted and surprised when a lone ray of sun lit up this small tree wearing it's hot pink leaves. This is not a color I've come to expect in the fall palette but there it stood in its unapologetic glory, a neon sign from Mother Nature.
We chose the Spillway Trail which meanders through the woods, across the spillway and dam, then leads you along the edge of a ravine as you make your way back to the Visitor's Center.
The vivid colors of fall have long passed in Middle Tennessee, so I was delighted and surprised when a lone ray of sun lit up this small tree wearing it's hot pink leaves. This is not a color I've come to expect in the fall palette but there it stood in its unapologetic glory, a neon sign from Mother Nature.
Sunday, December 13
Silence
Since moving to the retreat center in 2005, silence has become a welcomed part of my daily existence. Having moved from the center of the nation's 4th largest city, it took a while to embrace silence, both aurally and emotionally. But embrace it I did, except for today.
When there's a retreatant in the main retreat house who chooses to be in silence during their stay I too am in silence by default. Miss Mocha finds this silly and picks the most inopportune moments to take her squeakiest toy upstairs and give it a good workout. So there she is squeaking away and I'm shushing her while the retreatant is giggling in her room. So much for silence!
I had both arms wrapped lovingly around silence today, until about noon. By then, I was about the climb the walls wanting to hear music, dialogue, the sound of a raindrops on the window pane. I'm not sure why today was any different than past times when it was the breaking of silence that unnerved me, but I confess on this Sabbath day that something's niggling me under the surface.
Most likely, the contributing factor to my can't-sit-still-in-my-seat condition is the anticipated death of my biological father. He's been diagnosed with colon cancer, that's spread to his liver, lungs and lymph nodes in his chest. He's under hospice care in Austin, with my sister acting as primary caregiver.
We've been estranged for more than 20 years. I'd like to think I can get to a place of forgiveness before he dies. Time for some meditation and healing and maybe a visit to Austin.
When there's a retreatant in the main retreat house who chooses to be in silence during their stay I too am in silence by default. Miss Mocha finds this silly and picks the most inopportune moments to take her squeakiest toy upstairs and give it a good workout. So there she is squeaking away and I'm shushing her while the retreatant is giggling in her room. So much for silence!
I had both arms wrapped lovingly around silence today, until about noon. By then, I was about the climb the walls wanting to hear music, dialogue, the sound of a raindrops on the window pane. I'm not sure why today was any different than past times when it was the breaking of silence that unnerved me, but I confess on this Sabbath day that something's niggling me under the surface.
Most likely, the contributing factor to my can't-sit-still-in-my-seat condition is the anticipated death of my biological father. He's been diagnosed with colon cancer, that's spread to his liver, lungs and lymph nodes in his chest. He's under hospice care in Austin, with my sister acting as primary caregiver.
We've been estranged for more than 20 years. I'd like to think I can get to a place of forgiveness before he dies. Time for some meditation and healing and maybe a visit to Austin.
Saturday, December 12
Hoarfrost!
A wet fall and bitterly cold temperatures have resulted in spectacular hoarfrost events over the past few weeks. It's hard to describe and even harder to photograph, but here's my latest attempt at capturing the magical explosion of white ribbon candy along meadow edges and road sides. Enjoy.
Friday, December 11
Back in the Saddle
It's taken a while to get all the gears of my life moving again. The cogs and wheels and whirring things that spin round and round have sorely lacked attention while I've concentrated on LaLaKnee.
Good news...a clog may still slip now and again, but all-in-all the engine of my life is running pretty smoothly.
Here are a few highlights:
1. 12 weeks of physical therapy came to a natural conclusion last Friday. The surgeon is ok with where things are right now but there's still work to be done. So now it's an hour and half exercise routine at home to get more bend, straighten the leg fully and strengthen the thigh muscle. In short, more fun for me.
Anyone have tips on staying motivated?
2. I'm on the radio again in my co-host seat on Queer Talk, which airs most Saturdays on WRVU 91.1 FM (in Nashville) or streams live on the internet at http://www.wrvu.org/. I'm excited to be interviewing author Malinda Lo about her recent book "Ash", a 21st century twist on the Cinderella fairy tale. Even though it's under the Young Adult category, it's a great read for anyone who yearned for a different ending to the age-old tale.
3. I've read a mountain of books, one might say I've devoured them. An enthusiastic recommendation is "What Wildness is This", a collection of intimate portraits of women's lives and the land(s) that have shaped them. Edited by Susan Wittig Albert, Susan Hanson, Jan Epton Seale and Paula Stallings Yost, this collection of essays and poems make my heart sing with images of the American Southwest spilling across each page.
4. Speaking of books....I'M PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!! Recently, the book "Waiting...A Time to Hear God's Voice by Fred Cloud was published by Upper Room Books and I am one of 16 contributors to the project. I agreed to contribute a prayer for this book as I loved the premise. It's a little heavy on the Jesus for my taste, but hey, I'M PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pick up a copy or 10, I'll even autograph it for you.
5. So here's a low light...writing is not going well. Lovely, lush phrases and ideas for poems drift in and out of my mind, but don't seem to culminate into a poem of any substance. Of course, I didn't write at all while recuperating from surgery and am a bit rusty. Other than Facebook, I haven't been writing at all AND the two writers groups I belong to are on hiatus at the same time...what's a girl to do.
The Lovely Linda suggested I get back into the habit of writing every day and see what happens, so...
6. With this post, I commit to blogging daily and moving my hand across the page (or the keyboard as the case may be) to see what bubbles up.
Sorry to have been absent for so long. I'm not sure there's anyone out there reading this blog any more, but if you are, please drop me a quick comment letting me know you're there. Like the daily knee exercises, I need motivation on those days when it seems easier to feed the horse a carrot instead of getting back into the saddle.
Good news...a clog may still slip now and again, but all-in-all the engine of my life is running pretty smoothly.
Here are a few highlights:
1. 12 weeks of physical therapy came to a natural conclusion last Friday. The surgeon is ok with where things are right now but there's still work to be done. So now it's an hour and half exercise routine at home to get more bend, straighten the leg fully and strengthen the thigh muscle. In short, more fun for me.
Anyone have tips on staying motivated?
2. I'm on the radio again in my co-host seat on Queer Talk, which airs most Saturdays on WRVU 91.1 FM (in Nashville) or streams live on the internet at http://www.wrvu.org/. I'm excited to be interviewing author Malinda Lo about her recent book "Ash", a 21st century twist on the Cinderella fairy tale. Even though it's under the Young Adult category, it's a great read for anyone who yearned for a different ending to the age-old tale.
3. I've read a mountain of books, one might say I've devoured them. An enthusiastic recommendation is "What Wildness is This", a collection of intimate portraits of women's lives and the land(s) that have shaped them. Edited by Susan Wittig Albert, Susan Hanson, Jan Epton Seale and Paula Stallings Yost, this collection of essays and poems make my heart sing with images of the American Southwest spilling across each page.
4. Speaking of books....I'M PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!! Recently, the book "Waiting...A Time to Hear God's Voice by Fred Cloud was published by Upper Room Books and I am one of 16 contributors to the project. I agreed to contribute a prayer for this book as I loved the premise. It's a little heavy on the Jesus for my taste, but hey, I'M PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pick up a copy or 10, I'll even autograph it for you.
5. So here's a low light...writing is not going well. Lovely, lush phrases and ideas for poems drift in and out of my mind, but don't seem to culminate into a poem of any substance. Of course, I didn't write at all while recuperating from surgery and am a bit rusty. Other than Facebook, I haven't been writing at all AND the two writers groups I belong to are on hiatus at the same time...what's a girl to do.
The Lovely Linda suggested I get back into the habit of writing every day and see what happens, so...
6. With this post, I commit to blogging daily and moving my hand across the page (or the keyboard as the case may be) to see what bubbles up.
Sorry to have been absent for so long. I'm not sure there's anyone out there reading this blog any more, but if you are, please drop me a quick comment letting me know you're there. Like the daily knee exercises, I need motivation on those days when it seems easier to feed the horse a carrot instead of getting back into the saddle.
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