Salvation

“I had three good kids” is what my momma always says
I wonder what part of that is still true?

I guess we were good
as long as we were under her roof

Like most children
we grew
Like some children
we went out into the world

and learned
what we heard around the dinner table,
what we heard in the church pew
wasn’t true

my brother learned
that just because he could
drive a car fast
didn’t mean he couldn’t get hurt

my sister learned
that just because the boys
in our town didn’t court her
didn’t mean she wasn’t beautiful

me, I learned
that just because the preacher
taught one way to salvation
didn’t mean there weren’t other ways

my brother’s been married twice
and his only son is about to go
to prison for selling drugs
he (my brother) and his second wife
are disrespectful to my mom

I don’t talk to them anymore

my sister practices a religion of exclusion
she’s a good mom
and her only son is about to get married
we were close once

we don’t talk much anymore

me, I’m finding my way back
to myself after a 16 year marriage
to a deeply wounded man,
I'm finding my way back
to a self I didn’t know existed

I don’t talk to many people

but I talk to the prayer inside me
and I talk to my dog
and I talk to the birds
and to the trees
and to the creatures
that show themselves to me

…and the way to salvation